Come on. What’s it going to take for me to open up and trust God for my future?
I looked back down at the verses I’d underlined in Psalm 81.
Yes, God had removed burden after burden from my shoulders over the years, too. I couldn’t even count the times I called out to him when I was in trouble and he rescued me and brought me through.
Yes, you are the LORD my God, who has always been there for me.
Then my shoulders and chest tightened and my arms pressed into my sides as I read the end of verse 10. “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.” I pictured a baby bird with its beak open as wide as it could, waiting expectantly for a tasty morsel to drop in from heaven.
Why was it so hard for me to open my mouth wide and believe God would fill it? Why was it so hard to say “It’s going to be a good day” and believe God had good things in store for me?
Maybe because many years ago I went through a tough time where one bad thing after another happened to me. Sickness, isolation, trauma. And plenty of hard things had happened to me since. Maybe I was defensively wary of the future. I didn’t want to let down my guard and get broadsided again.
Maybe I didn’t dare hope that good things would happen each day for fear of being disappointed.
Although I’d had a lot of bad experiences, I’d also had so many fantastically good things happen that I couldn’t count them, either. Maybe I felt I’d had my share of blessings and didn’t deserve more.
Whatever the reason, I wanted to get unstuck. I wanted my arms to break free from my sides and open wide to take in all the good things heaven had for me.
But open felt scary. Risky. Vulnerable. How did I know God would bless me with good things on any given day? Maybe he would, but maybe he wouldn’t. Besides, wouldn’t assuming an unlimited supply of blessings be rudely presumptuous?
Then it hit me. God will provide blessings for me each day because he loves me.
He is my beloved and I am his (Song of Solomon, 6:3). I am his precious child, as are all who believe and trust in him (John 1:12). Because of what Jesus did on the cross, we Believers are totally righteous and accepted by our adoring Heavenly Father. Jesus loves us so much that he gave his life so we could be with him forever. Of course he would want to give us good gifts.
Then I realized, God does provide me with good things every hour of every day, I just usually take them for granted…until they’re gone. A few weeks ago, due to a mishap, we were without propane for a few days. It was inconvenient to burn wood in the fireplace to keep warm, but what we really missed was our hot showers. I wasn’t about to step under a shower of cold winter water. I didn’t fully appreciate my hot water until I didn’t have it.
And awhile back, I hurt my shoulder. I can still do most things, but I can’t put on my coat by myself. A couple of times I’ve had to go out in the cold with my coat slung across my back, which kept only half of me warm. I’d never thought to be thankful for healthy deltoid muscles, or thousands of other body parts and functions that are working well and don’t hurt.
God has been providing so many things for me every day. What makes me think he will stop?
The Bible says God will never leave or forsake us (Deut. 31:6). He has always been there for me, even when I couldn’t see it at the time.
God wants to shower us with good things, and will. And when bad things happen, as they often do, God will be there to rescue us, help us through, and work the situations to good. What’s so scary about that?
I took a deep breath. My shoulders eased a bit.
Okay, I’m going to continue reading Psalm 81 every day and saying to myself, “It’s a good day” until I can open my arms wide and sing for joy to God my strength.