There it is…again. God telling me to do the thing I can’t do. I looked up from my Bible and sighed, then looked back down at the little word that taunted me—joy.
The first line of Psalm 81 said to sing with joy. But I didn’t feel like being joyful, or singing. It was laundry and grocery shopping day, and I was all set to plow through and get things done. Trudge mode felt comfortable.
I read on.
Oh great, verse 4 said singing for joy is a command, not an option.
I leaned back and crossed my arms. I couldn’t just “be joyful.” Especially with nothing happy going on. Still, God says I have to do it…
What if I took it by faith that today was going to be a good day?
My chest tightened in resistance and my heart screamed, “No, don’t do it!”
Uh oh…why was I afraid to think good things would happen?
Because maybe something bad will happen instead. How can I possibly know if it’s a good day until the events actually unfold?
Yeah, wasn’t it safer to just wait and see if good things happen?
But then I took inventory of my mood and realized I felt lousy. On this ordinary day, with nothing bad going on, my muscles were all tense and achy. I felt listless and glum, like I was walking through a dimly lit trench.
I don’t like living this way. I really do want to live on a higher plain—with joy.
Okay, I reasoned that technically every day was a good day for those who love God because, even when bad things happen, God works those things to good (Romans 8:28).
I decided I’d try to believe that every day would be a good day, with God by my side. To do this, I would do two things:
- Say to myself, “It’s a good day”
- Read Psalm 81
And I’d keep doing this every day until God’s joy finally sunk in…hopefully.
The next morning, I told myself It’s a good day.
Hope brightened my heart for a second, then fear snuffed it out.
I read Psalm 81 (NIV). God’s admonitions and promises tugged at my heart, but I couldn’t bring myself to open up and take them in.
But after three days of doing these two things, I noticed my optimism increasing, and my mood getting brighter. The truth of God’s word was prying open the door of my heart a little more each day. Wow, progress! I’m going to keep it up.
Maybe God does have good things in store for me today!
The Never Ending Gifts 
Kris, I am so happy you are blogging again! I have missed your inspiring stories and insight. May God continue to give you the words to encourage us, and shed light into the dark corners of our lives.
By: christinestott on January 26, 2015
at 5:41 pm
Thanks again, Christine, for your encouragement to keep writing. This post, revealing my insecurities, was especially hard for me to put out for the world to see. Thanks for letting me know it was appreciated. It means a lot to me.
By: Kris Lindsey on January 28, 2015
at 12:57 pm
Isn’t this the way it so often is…we get worried about what might not be rather than taking God at His word. Thanks for the reminders Kris.
By: Susan Sage on January 29, 2015
at 9:08 am
[…] the beginning of this year, I read the first line of Psalm 81 and winced. It said to sing for joy, and I didn’t feel like being joyful. I rarely did. So I resolved to […]
By: I Got Joy! | Help for Hurting Emotions on October 31, 2015
at 9:01 am